im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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