just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
