And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
