I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
