next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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