I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
