New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
