Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Found your dick twin last night
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
