Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She needs sedatives and a leash
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
