Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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