Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
