The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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