Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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