It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
