Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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