whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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