I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
