Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
