I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Holy sore nipples Batman
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
