their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
