smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
