I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
