I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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