How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
