Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
