He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
