For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
