I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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