Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
