wakey wakey hands off snakey
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
