perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
