real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
