Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
