Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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