Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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