I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
