Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
