Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
