I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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