i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
