Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
