how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
