Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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