I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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