If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
