Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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