Sponge bath it is.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
