Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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