I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
