So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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