Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
