Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
