Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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