i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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