Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
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Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
