the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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